Journals13
Newest
A letter to you.
6 min read
Dear Reader,
Disaster may strike at the human heart but will never reach the human soul and never break the human spirit. All that life is only matters to those who hold it dearly and uphold its sanctity. Always remember through tough and impossible times we are there for you and felt as you feel now just under different circumstances.
Throughout life everyone has their hardships as both you and I are going through. These bumps in the road are called life experiences that effects us all differently. These experiences are unwanted most of the time but are a necessary evil. They shape who we are and guide our decisions. It shapes the people we know and love. This might sound silly but it is only the truth.
The meaning of life as we know it is to work for others an no one escapes this. Even the entrepreneur down the road works for companies that sell him his product. Those companies work for the government by setting the economy and the high taxes that they pay. Then the government works for its head, be it Prime Minister, President or the king and Queen. Then in turn they work for the people. The cycle never ends.
The meaning of life should not be to work for others but solely for yourself and for your own happiness. To strive to be the best you can be without being brought down by the negativity of others. To love and find true love.
I realize this comes as no shock to you but how many of the populace have forgotten to have fun, to appreciate what life has to offer and to appreciate one another? It is sickening to myself and maybe others that even I have forgotten the simple pleasures only to be swept away by this society. To never be happy no matter how hard you try.
Just take a look around, how many happy people do you see? Maybe one or two who are genuinely happy. Now look deep down and see if you are truly happy and answer yourself honestly! Now ask yourself what it would take for you to be truly happy. It shouldn't take much, a change in lifestyle, a better job, to travel the world and experience its awe and wonder? Look past that my dear friend and find yourself. If you don't then you will never be truly happy.
"But I have already found myself." you will say. My reply will always be "then why are you not happy?" A question that will be asked after I am gone and my bones turned to dust. Happiness is not just a state of mind but its part of who you are.
I have been diagnosed with depression, with that times are hard for me. Little things that no one notices I do. I take those little things to heart and dissect them. This is part of me, it is part of who I am and always will be. If you can't handle that then I can not have you part of my life.
This illness will not and can not control my life. I will continue to do what I need to to survive and be happy. It will also never excuse me from hurting anyone mentally or physically. I do not want nor do I need sympathy from those who do not know me or what I am going through. I don't want any sympathy at all, I am stronger then that.
I also have a confession to make, I was going to be selfish and do the unthinkable to most. I was going to take my own life with the prescriptions that were meant to help me. This will come as a shock and surprise to a lot of people as the face I put on in public always seems to be happy. But the truth is I have lost myself.
Through all of this I was sent an Angel. Someone that saved my life on the night I was going to end all of my pain and suffering. Through their selfless act of asking me what was wrong they not only saved my life but saved my family and friends from the pain I would have caused them. To this Angel I will be indebted to for the rest of my life and will be externally grateful. Thank you.
I also want to thank everyone else that has been there for me just to vent to or that has helped me try to forget all my problems. These people are true friends either new or old. I will never forget what you have done for me and you will always have a special place in my heart, never to be removed.
To all the people out there reading this, it is meant for no one and it is meant for someone. Those I have specifically mentioned will know and understand and this will mean more to them as an explanation. I know how you feel and I can guarantee that things will get better with time. It might feel hopeless but it is an experience that will mold and shape you for hte rest of your life.
I am here for you and whenever you need me I am here waiting for you. These words are meaningless unless you take something from them and if not I am truly sorry. Its not to say that things will ever be easy but it is more to say, "I know" and "You are not alone."
Remember that I love you and remember that there are people willing to help you through tough times. Some of the most compassionate people out in the world today are closer than you think. You just need to recagnize them for what they are and never let them slip away.
Ever Yours
Brian
Disaster may strike at the human heart but will never reach the human soul and never break the human spirit. All that life is only matters to those who hold it dearly and uphold its sanctity. Always remember through tough and impossible times we are there for you and felt as you feel now just under different circumstances.
Throughout life everyone has their hardships as both you and I are going through. These bumps in the road are called life experiences that effects us all differently. These experiences are unwanted most of the time but are a necessary evil. They shape who we are and guide our decisions. It shapes the people we know and love. This might sound silly but it is only the truth.
The meaning of life as we know it is to work for others an no one escapes this. Even the entrepreneur down the road works for companies that sell him his product. Those companies work for the government by setting the economy and the high taxes that they pay. Then the government works for its head, be it Prime Minister, President or the king and Queen. Then in turn they work for the people. The cycle never ends.
The meaning of life should not be to work for others but solely for yourself and for your own happiness. To strive to be the best you can be without being brought down by the negativity of others. To love and find true love.
I realize this comes as no shock to you but how many of the populace have forgotten to have fun, to appreciate what life has to offer and to appreciate one another? It is sickening to myself and maybe others that even I have forgotten the simple pleasures only to be swept away by this society. To never be happy no matter how hard you try.
Just take a look around, how many happy people do you see? Maybe one or two who are genuinely happy. Now look deep down and see if you are truly happy and answer yourself honestly! Now ask yourself what it would take for you to be truly happy. It shouldn't take much, a change in lifestyle, a better job, to travel the world and experience its awe and wonder? Look past that my dear friend and find yourself. If you don't then you will never be truly happy.
"But I have already found myself." you will say. My reply will always be "then why are you not happy?" A question that will be asked after I am gone and my bones turned to dust. Happiness is not just a state of mind but its part of who you are.
I have been diagnosed with depression, with that times are hard for me. Little things that no one notices I do. I take those little things to heart and dissect them. This is part of me, it is part of who I am and always will be. If you can't handle that then I can not have you part of my life.
This illness will not and can not control my life. I will continue to do what I need to to survive and be happy. It will also never excuse me from hurting anyone mentally or physically. I do not want nor do I need sympathy from those who do not know me or what I am going through. I don't want any sympathy at all, I am stronger then that.
I also have a confession to make, I was going to be selfish and do the unthinkable to most. I was going to take my own life with the prescriptions that were meant to help me. This will come as a shock and surprise to a lot of people as the face I put on in public always seems to be happy. But the truth is I have lost myself.
Through all of this I was sent an Angel. Someone that saved my life on the night I was going to end all of my pain and suffering. Through their selfless act of asking me what was wrong they not only saved my life but saved my family and friends from the pain I would have caused them. To this Angel I will be indebted to for the rest of my life and will be externally grateful. Thank you.
I also want to thank everyone else that has been there for me just to vent to or that has helped me try to forget all my problems. These people are true friends either new or old. I will never forget what you have done for me and you will always have a special place in my heart, never to be removed.
To all the people out there reading this, it is meant for no one and it is meant for someone. Those I have specifically mentioned will know and understand and this will mean more to them as an explanation. I know how you feel and I can guarantee that things will get better with time. It might feel hopeless but it is an experience that will mold and shape you for hte rest of your life.
I am here for you and whenever you need me I am here waiting for you. These words are meaningless unless you take something from them and if not I am truly sorry. Its not to say that things will ever be easy but it is more to say, "I know" and "You are not alone."
Remember that I love you and remember that there are people willing to help you through tough times. Some of the most compassionate people out in the world today are closer than you think. You just need to recagnize them for what they are and never let them slip away.
Ever Yours
Brian
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Why God, Why do you tempt me.
1 min read
So here it is... I am working on my pictures still... god they are taking a long time, but it will be done soon.... I Hope
So work sucks... I didn't think it was possible for me to hate work with every part of my Being... but I guess it is possible... its so bad that we have to ask to use the washroom. But that is all right... I am applying at another center soon... and hopefully I get the job.. though I don't want to work at call centers anymore.
Yes Yes I know I am faving a lot of Deviations... I have about 6057 to go through, so I am faving the ones that I am going to comment on when I get around to it... seeing as I have 6057 it might take awhile lol
anyway guys... I have been up since 3:45am this morning after falling asleep at 1:00am and have to go into work for 11:00 am until 10pm.... it sucks. Might be a half a day for me
So work sucks... I didn't think it was possible for me to hate work with every part of my Being... but I guess it is possible... its so bad that we have to ask to use the washroom. But that is all right... I am applying at another center soon... and hopefully I get the job.. though I don't want to work at call centers anymore.
Yes Yes I know I am faving a lot of Deviations... I have about 6057 to go through, so I am faving the ones that I am going to comment on when I get around to it... seeing as I have 6057 it might take awhile lol
anyway guys... I have been up since 3:45am this morning after falling asleep at 1:00am and have to go into work for 11:00 am until 10pm.... it sucks. Might be a half a day for me
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
You guys are going to hate me soon.
1 min read
Well guys... I think it is time to let you know that I will be post spamming you in a little while... I finally got my Hard drive working again YAY... stupid me for putting the wrong jumper settings lol...
Anyway I got them back and I will be working on them and then posting them so you might get lucky for a little while lol
YAY... stupid me for putting the wrong jumper settings lol...Anyway I got them back and I will be working on them and then posting them so you might get lucky for a little while lol
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Update??? Weird Eh
2 min read
Well it has been... what?? WOW... 5 MONTHS... HOLY SHIT... Sorry Guys.
Well a little update... Jobs going well, getting a new system soon.. which is going to suck but other then that its all cool.
Des and I broke up after a year and change of dating. Don't ask as I am not going to say what is going on yet anyway.
I finally got my Hard Drive back and working... then it stopped working.. many of you know about what was going on at one point, well.. it has my pictures which I was going to post before it screwed up again... DAMN TECHNOLOGY (huddles under rock trying to make fire)
Other then that not much going on other then I got a call from some guy that had his account name as Snoochy Boochies (KS fans will understand).
I got my taxes done which means I get $1400 and change back from the Gov. So that is a little over 3/4 of the way to my camera. Which brings me to my new topic.
I am looking at getting the Nikon D300, Don't say it is shit because I don't care... it's the camera I want so suck it up, where I am buying it it only comes as the body... so I need to know what is 2 standard lenses (it takes Nikor lenses) and I was also wondering about getting some Macro lenses... any suggestions would be great... Keep in mind though if you post a price... please do it in Canadian $$ as I live in Canada... to those who don't know where that is, Look at a map and we are at the very top above you if you are American and we are in the northern hemisphere on top of the USA for those who don't know where we are and don't live in the Americas.
anyway Gotta go for now... hopefully I get my pics back to spam you with.
Well a little update... Jobs going well, getting a new system soon.. which is going to suck but other then that its all cool.
Des and I broke up after a year and change of dating. Don't ask as I am not going to say what is going on yet anyway.
I finally got my Hard Drive back and working... then it stopped working.. many of you know about what was going on at one point, well.. it has my pictures which I was going to post before it screwed up again... DAMN TECHNOLOGY (huddles under rock trying to make fire)
Other then that not much going on other then I got a call from some guy that had his account name as Snoochy Boochies (KS fans will understand).
I got my taxes done which means I get $1400 and change back from the Gov. So that is a little over 3/4 of the way to my camera. Which brings me to my new topic.
I am looking at getting the Nikon D300, Don't say it is shit because I don't care... it's the camera I want so suck it up, where I am buying it it only comes as the body... so I need to know what is 2 standard lenses (it takes Nikor lenses) and I was also wondering about getting some Macro lenses... any suggestions would be great... Keep in mind though if you post a price... please do it in Canadian $$ as I live in Canada... to those who don't know where that is, Look at a map and we are at the very top above you if you are American and we are in the northern hemisphere on top of the USA for those who don't know where we are and don't live in the Americas.
anyway Gotta go for now... hopefully I get my pics back to spam you with.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Interesting.
2 min read
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In